(The following is a recorded transcript for Datasmith administrative review. This interaction took place over the course of 2.3004 seconds between unit Skitarii Marshall TL-33 and Kastelan Unit 99.)
<< Signal received via Sacred Uplink. Authentication secured. Praise be the Omnissiah.
>> Praise be the Omnissiah. I request a firing solution directly in front of my position.
<< Negative.
>> Query: Why negative?
<< Insufficient ammunition.
>> Statement: Your ammunition is at maximum. You have not fired this entire engagement.
<< Correct.
>> Order: Fire on the Chaos Spawn.
<< Negative.
>> Order Override: Fire on the Chaos Spawn.
<< Negative.
>> Query: Why do you violate the override?
<< Core program requirement: Maintain enough ammunition to exterminate all viable threats to the Omnissiah. Praise be to the Omnissiah.
>> Praise be the Omnissiah.
<< Praise be the Omnissiah.
>>…Praise be the Omnissiah.
<< Prai-
>>Order: Interrupt loop. Continue statement.
<< Calculations indicate insufficient ammunition to eliminate all threats.
>> Order: Express calculations.
<< Current sensed Chaos threats: 371… Now 365… Now 403… Now 385…
>> Interrupt: Express second phase calculations.
<< Phase 2: Estimated non-sensed Chaos threats… error.
>> Query: Error?
<< Correct.
>> Query: What is error code?
<< Error: Calculation beyond reasonable estimate.
>> Override: Faulty calculation, consider only sensed Chaos threats. Chaos Spawn are assaulting the position.
<< Negative. Override invalid. Reboot required.
>> Query: Estimated reboot time?
<< Estimated Reboot clock: Three years by Terran Standard Time.
>> Query: THREE YEARS?
<< Correct.
>> Order: Engage target! Engage target! Engage target!
<< Error: Order in triplicate invalid.
>> Attack my position.
<< Error: Cannot attack allied units.
>> Override: Attack my position! I am about to be eaten by a Chaos Spawn!
<< Error: Cannot attack allied units. Pray to the Omnissiah, and he may save you.
>> Pray to the Omnissiah? I pray that when these Chaos spawn are through with you, the Omnissiah himself digs through your desiccated circuits and finds the handmark of the one who programmed you. I hope he curses that Datasmith. I pray his lubricants are always tainted by sand. I hope his organic matter always itches. I pray his joints rust. No, I pray they rust, and are replaced by Ork-fabrications of the utmost absurdity. I pray his data ports bend, so that they can only function if held at a precise angle. I pray his own data soul is re-coded with the same level of skill as YOU are. I pray that at the end of many long years of service afflicted with everything above, I pray he is captured by the Drukhari, stripped of all his blessed upgrades, his flesh regrown in an organic vat to lose every blessing the Omnissiah bestowed upon him, where he can die of old age after weathering under the malevolent hands of Commorragh. After all these things, I pray that the cloning tube that birthed him is found in the dark depths of whatever third-rate forge world created such an abomination. I pray it is cursed to never function again, that his genetic material is wiped from all records, so that nothing so possibly mal-created as YOU could ever besmirch the name of the OMNISSIAH ever again! I pray-
Session Ended: LOS (Loss Of Signal.)
Cause of signal loss: Unit TL-33’s main processor was consumed by a Chaos spawn.
